Thursday, September 12, 2013

Mommy Guilt

Tuesday I got the opportunity to take some time out for myself and spend the day at the county fair, followed by a concert at the fair grounds that evening. I was pretty excited, not only to be spending the day with one of my closest friends (J) but also to be seeing Florida Georgia Line live.

(Never heard of them? Try checking out their smash hit Cruise, personally I prefer the remix with Nelly, but the original is pretty good too. Or even Get Your Shine On a song written about actually drinking moonshine, if you haven't figured it out yet - their a mostly country "crossover" band.)

Their opening act was Colt Ford
Who I admit I hadn't heard a whole lot of. But turns out that he's actually wrote and demo-ed some pretty big hits for some big stars. (Ever heard of Dirt Road Anthem? Yeah he wrote that.) 

He was pretty good too, think a mix of Hank Williams meets Kid Rock with a large side of redneck and chicken & biscuits (yes he actually wrote a song called Chicken & Biscuits). 

So anyway I imagine you are thinking "what does this have to do with Mommy guilt?" Well here's the thing. I left before nap time on Tuesday, and by the time I got home they were in bed. For the very first time since they came home from the NICU - I spent nearly twelve whole hours away from them. It was also the first time that hubby had to fly solo for that long. I wasn't worried about how he'd handle it, though I did feel a little sorry for him when this - 
happened just before I left. To be honest she was in rare form from the time she woke up. I knew hubby would have his hands full! 

I also worried about how A & B would react once I actually left and the realized I wasn't going to be gone for just a few minutes. I imagined based on their track record that they would be fine until nap time when they woke up and I wasn't there, I was concerned they would be upset. I was right. I got a call just after nap time from a distraught Addison who just needed to hear mommy's voice. But hubby handled it like a pro. She got to talk to me and then he distracted them and they soon forgot all about me again. 

In the meantime, here I am sort of "living it up" at the fair and all I could think every time we'd pass a kiddie ride was "oh Addison would have loved that" and "would Blake get on the helicopter ride?" Needless to say I think I'll be taking my favorite boy and girl to the fair before the weekend so they can enjoy it too! 

I had fleeting moments where I felt like I should still be at home with the kiddos. But overall - it was so nice to have some time to myself and get to be ME for awhile, instead of mommy and (J) did a great job of making me enjoy myself. Haha. She had me on nearly every ride you could think of, it was a blast.

And then, I came home. I was just cuddling into bed when Addison woke up crying. She was actually crying for her daddy but since he was asleep and had to return to work the next day, I went I get her. The minute she laid eyes on me she sobbed about "I love you momma, I missed you. I need you momma" and my heart nearly broke in two. Me thinks she has learned how to play the guilt card early.

I do think its important for us moms to take some time for ourselves though. Not just for our own sanity, but for the sake of our children. I think this is especially important if you are a stay at home mom and you little ones aren't used to being left in anyone else's care. Speaking from experience here - my mom was a working mom and other then spending time with my grandmother while she worked, I rarely spent any time away from my mom and dad. And when I did, I had a terrible time adjusting. (Just ask my Godmommy who had to cope with a sobbing "way to old to be crying like a baby" kid.) 

And not just time for ourselves but time as husband and wife as well. To nurture that relationship too, which is probably one of the hardest things to remember to do, especially as "new" parents. 

For now though, I am going to go back to cuddling with my babies who are making up for lost time by sticking to be like glue. 

What do you do to make time for you and/or your relationship with your spouse/partner?

Disclaimer: The views expressed are my own. I have not been compensated in anyway. I even had to pay for my own ticket to both the fair and the concert. It was however, money well spent.

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