Being a Preemie Mom

Did it change me? Would I be any different (as a mom) then I am today?

I don't know for sure. In my heart I feel like I would have always remembered to live in the moment and cherish their childhood. Perhaps it was the solemn vow I took as a women battling Infertility in my early 20's, who watched countless parents neglect their children, that changed me.

I'll never know because this is the only life I've known. I don't have older children that weren't preemies to say I parented them differently before A & B came along. What I do know is that I am giving this my very best shot.

And perhaps for me there are things that seem HUGE that well frankly aren't HUGE to anyone else. Yes some of that I do know comes from the preemie mom in me. Watching a little one pounder in an incubator fight for life and wonder "will they or walk or talk, go to school or ride a bike". We knew the statistics, we
were aware of how different things could be. So to see them do "simple" things just blows me away.

In the last two weeks alone I have been reminded a thousand times over of the two miracles we have been trusted with. From Blake totally acing a developmental eval. To the simply amazing growth, development wise, that Addison has shown. It wasn't all that long ago that we had concerns about her attention span (or lack there of) and her "safety awareness" (otherwise known as "I shouldn't jump from the top of the playground with no one to catch me). And now? Well she sat through an entire movie in a movie theater, she will sit through a short book and stick with a puzzle or craft for more then 2 seconds and is easily drawn back in.

For lack of a better phrase, she seems to be acting more and more age appropriate. Which is what the hope was for her, hence why we are still in 3 different therapies 1-2 times a week. She is becoming more and more determined to accomplish difficult tasks instead of just walking away like she has been known to do in the past. 

I stood in amazement at the park while she climbed a ladder to reach the top of the structure and swung from monkey bars. She walked a balance beam and chased after her PT like you wouldn't believe. Just a few short months ago we had concerns about her balance and she couldn't take many steps without stumbling and falling.

We've been in speech/special instruction for nearly a year. Sometimes we have to consciously encourage Addison to use her "big girl words" and use more then two word phrases. Then nights like tonight, she tells me "Goodnight. Love you to moon and back." I know we're moving in the right direction.

She has her "big girl" eval coming up in October and I am interested to see how the gap between her developmental skills and age has narrowed. This might actually be the first one that I walk away from without feeling completely defeated or hopeless. 

And Blake, well he proves to be a great role model for his sister. She loves to do the things he does and he encourages her (always has) to "aim high". Though sometimes this gets them into a little mischief. I love how helpful he is, and how much he enjoys doing "chores". Now I just hope he remembers how much he loves to do laundry when he is oh say about 13 ;)

All of this just blows me away and overwhelms my heart (in a positive way) daily. There is always a constant reminder that we are blessed beyond measure. And I couldn't be more proud.