My preemies are my friend's kids. It effected me because as my friend was going through this I was pregnant myself so by talking to her she taught me about strength and that everything works out in the end. With the babies being in the NICU I can honestly say I was scared for her and prayed all the time. I tried to be her rock while inside I was hurting for her. I knew NOTHING about preemies. I learned through her that everything works out they way it should and that prayer will help you through anything and also to be thankful for your child, and hug them everyday. For another person in my shoes I would say be there for your friend. Don't express to them about you being scared. When they cry to you be there and shed a tear with them but mostly be there as an ear. Let them beat you up when they need to, if they are your friends they know they can yell scream and cry to you but you will always be there. You need to try and lift their spirits because when they feel like they are down to nothing they need to be brought back up. I want to let the mothers of preemies know there are people out there for them. The babies will be ok, there are doctors and nurses for them, you need to find a good friend or family member to be there for you.
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Ashley is probably one of the few (non) preemie mom's that I am friends with, who I really really shared my struggles with. I could always count on her to be on Facebook when I got home from a long day at the hospital with Addison and Blake. And I'd get text messages from her once in a while just reminding me that she was thinking about me. It makes a difference. If not for friends like Ashley to talk to and my friend Tracey, two people I knew I could call anytime and would do anything for me, I'd have been lost.
As Ashley mentions is it super important to find someone for YOU... the preemie parent. Even the greatest of spouses can become defeated and need a pick me up, plus we all cope differently. There are support groups out there. I have met some amazing woman through this and have formed a bond with other mom's in similar situations. I met an amazing mom who I've had the pleasure of actually had the pleasure of meeting in real life and have instantly became the best of friends with her as well. It helps to have people in your corner.
If you are a new preemie mom and need resources check out www.preemiemomblog.blogspot.com , Find the Preemie Resource Blog on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/PreemieResources and connect with other mom's who have been there or are going through this same thing.
Other great resources are message boards like the ones at www.thebump.com