Two days later and...

Addison is still "sick"... she is now back on the Oscillator Ventilator because her CO2 levels are elevated and her lungs look worse on her chest xray. In addition to the change, the doctor also added her to yet another antibiotic. This however is a good thing because it means that now she is receiving antibiotics for just about every possible bacteria and now this should set her in the right direction. They are thinking that part of this set back could be because she is or was borderline sepsis. It is so hard to she her back on the Oscillator. It takes me right back to those first few days when she was sooo critical and its worse when she looks up at me with sad eyes as if she is asking me to help her and I can't. The nurses said Ms. Addison was none to happy with this change and has been her feisty self (which is defiantly a very good thing). So for now the plan is to have her back on the regular vent within 48-72 hours... I am hoping for 48 hours (or sooner).

In Blake news...yesterday the doctor was concerned that maybe he had an infection because he wasn't the wiggle worm he can be, and he was having a lot of destats (oxygen level drops below 85 for more then a few seconds). We did dodge that bullet...he is back to his old self, (must have been the rain). He did however decide that he would show himself just before I left to come home for a bit, and had an apnea episode...his heart rate dropped extremely low and he destated. It took what seemed like forever to get him to get with it. What was worse was when it all started his chest wasn't moving and neither was he. Talk about scary for a Mommy. Finally the nurse practitioner fused at Blake and told him, one showoff a day and today was Addison's turn. Then suddenly he decided to behave himself, quite the rascal.

Emotionally as strong as I might seem on the outside, today was hard. And I can't even begin to act like I didn't have a breakdown or two. All I know right now is I just want our babies home with us.

Baby Weights - Addison 1 lb 15 ozs (down 3 ozs from yesterday but this is a good thing because she is on Lasix to rid some of the fluid in her lungs, so it's a sign that it's working). Blake 2 lbs 5ozs (getting closer and closer...almost to the half way point of the 5ish pound weight requirement, among other things, to come home.)