Let's Catch Up!

Yeah yeah I fell off the blog wagon, sorry. Things got a little crazy around here, but they seem to be falling into place again.

Addison and Blake finally got their appetites back and in return have gained some of that weight back that they lost. Blake is actually up a whole pound from before he was sick and Addison is down a pound and some change from where she was before the GI bug, but up from where she was AFTER. Both kiddos weigh 22lbs even. For the first time in their lives they are the same weight. Blake looks so much heavier then her though. Def. because of the height, Addison is the taller of the two.

I am back at the gym. I joined in February. Went for a day week or two and then we got sick and well ... yeah. But Sunday, everyone was feeling better, Jake was home and I thought it had been long enough. So back off I went. I've been everyday since then except Weds. which I dubbed my off day, off day from the gym only. I've also been watching my calories which is a first for me. And well........ I weighed in today at my fitness assessment, courtesy of the gym and I am down 6.2 pounds... 6.2!!!!!

The kiddos are in the throws of those so called terrible two's which has also resulted in a little lady with some pretty fierce separation anxiety ooooh boy. But we are all still doing well. And looking forward to warmer weather and some other neat things we have in the works.

Oh and there is this thing about trying to get internet at home again...sore subject but as soon as I get that figured out, sigh.

What have you been up to lately?

"The Bible" on History Channel

"The Bible" on History Channel (image source: hollywoodreporter.com)

History Channel is airing a mini-series called The Bible. (It started tonight tonight at will air over five parts with the final airing on Easter.) The series is set to cover from Genesis to Revelation, and was produced by Roma Downey (remember Touched By An Angel ? If not you should Google it and see if you can catch an episode or two, pretty cool series) and Mark Burnett.

If you missed it, rumor has it there will be a DVD, and hopefully - maybe, History Channel will air it online as well.

Either way, I thought I would share. We're watching it here. It's good for those who are new to their faith, rediscovering their faith, or even those strong in their faith. Basically a good series for any Christian, in my opinion. And if you need another reason to watch I saw that Tim Tebow even endorsed it on Facebook, earlier today. ;)

I would be interested to see how it's viewed by Atheists and members of the Christian community alike -based on the variations of Bible Stories.

I know I don't usually talk about faith and my religion here but this is one of those "full circle" things for me tonight. I used to enjoy watching Biblical shows with my Great Grandmother (who was a devote Catholic), especially during Lent and Easter, went to church many Sundays with my mom, reached milestones like First Holy Communion and Confirmation, and even went to Youth Group and enjoyed several youth retreats during that time. To be able to attend church on Sundays with the hubs and A & B - then to be able to share in this moment tonight, where they watched the beginning of it with us, and then watching it with Jake. Suddenly life has come full circle. From childhood to adulthood. I feel like it brings us closer as a family, and as a couple. Scratch that... IT DOES bring us closer.

It was important to me, when we had children, to make sure we gave them a good foundation in their faith and lead them the right way. Last winter was so hard because of RSV lockdown, so to be able to finally get to church this year has been so great. To find a church that fits is even better. And then to get the chance to meet Bishop Hanson of the ELCA, listen to him preach - and to share that with my husband and children, simply amazing.

My whole life when I've thought of my future and family I had these visions of church on Sundays, dinner together as a family and a day of rest. Something about all that just warms my heart. I am still working on the rest part, but I have gotten so much better about focusing on "us". It's a great feeling for us all.



(Have you "Liked" us on Facebook? Be sure to today to stay up to date with all the latest updates!)

Stay at Home Mom

^^^  That's me... I am one of "them".

When the hubs and I first started talking about having a family of our own, we hadn't really "planned" for me to stay home. We talked about it, but hadn't made any real decisions on the topic. When I finally got pregnant, we debated it a lot. We were in a situation where we were living considerably below our means after a very rock few years prior, but there was still a bit of fear and uncertainty as to "if" we could truly afford for me to stay home. I enjoyed my job and had big career dreams so we thought I'd continue to work, and we had even started looking in to daycare options.

Then we found we were having twins and in the end, we couldn't afford for me to NOT stay home. Even though I made a fairly decent income, I would have literally only been working to pay for childcare. Pair that with gas money, car maintenance, tolls and other travel expenses as well as the occasional lunch out and well, then I was actually spending more then I was making.

When I landed on bed rest the first time at 12 weeks we bit the bullet and decided I would resign at that time. It ended up being a blessing in disguise because I ended up on bed rest again a few weeks later and THEN there was the NICU and bringing home two preemies who needed extra special care. I don't know how I would have juggled all of that and continued to work full time, my heart goes out to those who have done it. Not to mention the fact that we would have likely needed a higher level of childcare for Addison with her feeding tube.

Being a stay at home mom is not for the faint at heart. Sure it's a blessing and many people dream of being able to stay home. But it's also a lot of work. (Nope I am not getting into the Mommy Wars. My working mom friends work just as hard as I do and I have the utmost respect and admiration for them. My own mom was a working mom, while her mother was a stay at home mom.) I have days where I feel like pulling my hair out and cannot wait until bedtime. There are also days filled with smiles, laughter, hugs, cuddles and lots of fun. It's all worth it in the end.

Just because we can "afford" for me to stay at home doesn't mean that we aren't making sacrifices or cutting corners where we can to make ends meet (remember my post about clipping coupons?), as well as insure that I can continue to stay home at least for now.  I wouldn't be able to do this if not for some sacrifices on the hubs part too, and his willingness to work those extra hours when we need it (not that he has a whole lot of choice because overtime comes with the job and isn't always optional.)

I have often been asked how long I will stay home. The short answer is "I don't know." There are a lot of variables to that equation. Ideally I would like to stay home for as long as possible, and perhaps go back to work part-time once Addison and Blake are in school. That being said, it's important to both Jake and I at least one of us is there for them before and after school and can actively participate in school activities with them. Not to mention the flexibility to be there when one of them is sick and needs to stay home or has a doctor's appointment - you name it. And then there is still the possibility of another child down the line. As long as we can afford it, I hope to be able to stay at home with the next little one too.

If you are planning to stay at home once your little one is born, or are wondering if you can afford to stay home... my advice is to save every penny you can now. Try living off of just one salary and banking yours. Pay off any debt that you can now, so it's not hanging over your head. Many people would recommend that you have a good savings, though that is more a general rule of thumb then just prepping to stay at home. Reality is that sometimes it doesn't all work out so that you are comfortably prepared for becoming a stay at home mom (I still planned to have another 20+ weeks to work before I resigned), but as I have learned you can make it work in other circumstances. And maybe right now it's not the right time for you to stay at home, but you can later. Or maybe your husband would be better suited to stay home. Or you are both meant to be working parents. That's ok too. Do what works best for you and your family.

Don't let society make you feel guilty for whichever option you choose. As long as you are happy, your family is happy and you child(ren) is(are) well taken care of then you have done a job well done.




"Like" us on Facebook for up to the minute updates!

Early Intervention Update

Here in PA, they do reviews every three months and adjust services accordingly. The difference is that this review isn't one of those ones where they go through the whole assessment and say "Your child is this far behind" - this one is more like a meeting with the case manager, her "lead" therapist and me. We talk about her progress and what her new goals should be and then we plan.

So that happened on Weds. and we decided that we need PT again. Little Miss is having some balance issues, holds her left foot to the side when she walks, and seems to have some issues with her hips. Nothing majorly alarming, but something we wanted to have checked out, and see what we can do to help her. Some of this could be simply related to her vision issues, or just be a quirk she has right now and will out grow.

We also decided between Speech and Special Instruction. I asked for Speech but both OT and her case manager feel Special Instruction would be best suited for now. And we can pull in Speech later if needed. Addison does have some words, but (and maybe I am wrong) not as many as Blake. While it's hard to not compare them, it's just best to have these things looked at now and make progress on them. She is also "at risk" because of her Cleft Palate for speech delays so this is super important.

For now it looks like we are going to do PT once a month, Special Instruction twice a month and OT once a month. Re-eval in 3 months and decide from there. Should she still qualify based on her needs, within the next 3-6 months, they will start to transition her into the 3 year old program, which is more like a Head Start or Preschool type program to help prep her for school.

I am sure you've heard "most preemies are caught up by age two" and while that is true in some cases, we know that Addison still has some very mild delays. And ya know what, while I beyond a shadow of a doubt want her to "catch up", I am o.k. with this. Ok as in - I am glad we have the resources available to us to help continue to help her and nurture her learning so that she can continue to grow and progress. The important thing is that the gap between where she is and "should" be is getting smaller. It's just taking longer, and that's ok. She is so very smart, and picks up on things so I have no doubt that will continued hard work she will continue to blossom and develop.

One thing for sure is that we are going to have our hands full with her for sure ;)

Being a Preemie Parent

Being a preemie parent changed me in ways I never imagined. I learned what true courage is. What the fight for survival is. And how to handle things I never thought were possible.

I learned what it was like to feel helpless, and at time hopeless. And how to overcome those times.

I learned that not everyone would understand what we were going through, and would sometimes say the wrong thing because they did not know the right thing to say. They just wanted to help.

I learned that surrounding myself with others in similar situations, other preemie parents, would help me get through those tough times. And it would also teach me about life's biggest miracles.

Being a preemie parent has taught me to never take a moment for granted, and to celebrate every milestone regardless of how "small".

I would like to think that this whole experience has made me more aware, and passionate about raising awareness about prematurity, as well as a lot more understand of people around me.

Because of my own children's struggles and differences I've learned you can't judge a book by it's cover. What you see on the outside is likely only the tip of the iceberg.

I've had to rally strength to hold down my child while a doctor or nurse performs a test or stuck them with needle.

I know what it's like to walk out of a hospital with an empty tummy and empty arms, not knowing if you'll every be able to have your babies home with you.

I am honoring the amazing courage and commitment parents of preemies face by celebrating Parents of Preemies Day on Sunday, March 10th. Find out how you can celebrate with me at http://www.facebook.com/parentsofpreemiesday!

Random Ramblings...

Taking a moment to color with Mommy.

Ever had one of those moments where you feel like your head is spinning, you have so much on your mind and you can barely tread water... Yup, that's where I am at today (ok so maybe that's where I have been at for the past week and a half BUT...) none the less, I feel lost right now. Things just feel so out of sorts around her and I lack the energy and motivation to pull myself together and get back on track.

Because we've all been sick, I haven't been to the gym. Which means I have not had any "me" time, and it's completely effected my inner peace. It also did not help that the gym called me less then a week from the last time I went and was all "Giiiiiiiirl Where you been? We miss you?" In my mind I was like "cleaning up puke and I really don't have time to chat right now," but I was civil yet still annoyed. I think it's nice that they called but um really, it's only been a few days really. (AND NO I AM NOT INTERESTED IN PAYING FOR A PERSONAL TRAINER RIGHT NOW THANKS! I DON'T NEED THE REMINDER THAT I MIGHT ACTUALLY NEED ONE BECAUSE I AM FAT.)

Jake's work hours have been pretty crappy and he's been on call which means that it's been Mommy 24-7. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change it for the world, but Mommy needs a break, just a few seconds to myself where I am not cleaning up a mess or wiping a nose or giving meds or any of that. Not to mention there are a million other things that need to get done around the house, and I just feel like I cannot keep up. The reality is that aside from the needed Mommy Moment, things aren't that bad. They just "feel" that bad. I know you understand what I am saying.

I am grateful that I did have a day or two of help from family which allowed me to get caught up on laundry, and sanitizing, and it does seem that in spite of Mr. Blake now having RSV, we are indeed finally on the mend. Which means as soon as Mommy catches up on some much needed sleep, we should be back to our regular routines.

This is basically how he has been for a week now. :(

One really exciting thing is that Addison is back to eating again. She seems like she is doing better then before she got sick, and just so grown up about it. I cannot stand it. I was watching her and Blake the other day and just thinking, my babies are all grown up. I don't know when it happened, but they are such big kids now. I cannot stand it. It never ceases to amaze me.

Addison eating some yummy strawberries.

Should We Have Kept The G-Tube

For a little longer atleast?

This question has been on my mind through out this whole ordeal, but lets look at the big picture...

- Blake and Addison both got sick.
Granted Blake didn't ::knocks on wood:: get as sick as it seemed Addison did. (And I have my suspicions that her diarrhea was escalated by the fact that she has a Nissin Fundo in place and there for it could only come out one way, however without that it's possible it could have been shooting out both ends... still not ideal.) But Blake did not need IV hydration. (It did take a lot of syringes of liquids by mouth and a lot of wrestling though, but we did keep him drinking).

- Addison continued to drink, and even EAT through out this.
In fact, she drank so much the first day that it was hard to believe that she had gotten dehydrated  she would not put her cup down. (Yes she too needed a few syringes full by mouth, especially after the initial bout of dehydration, but she was still doing what she needed to do). In fact, while it's not "a lot" or even "enough" for a normal day to day, she has had one and a half containers of purees today alone, plus ice chips and an apple slice or two. Pretty good for a sick kid, I mean come on how much do you want to eat when you aren't feeling well?

- Every medical professional who has seen her since she got sick with this mess has said the same thing... The G-tube would have essentially been the same as what she was drinking by mouth and wouldn't have prevented the dehydration when the end result is that the liquids just won't stay in. Sometimes it just happens and our bodies need the IV fluids to get over the hump.

- She is showing a great interest in wanting to eat more as the days progress.

In the end only time will tell, but right now it looks like we will get through this and come back out on the other side, right where we left off. Eating and drinking by mouth. Yes days like today it would have been nice to have the G-tube so that I didn't have to work as hard to get her to drink. But it's not about me. It's about teaching her to work through things like illnesses with her new "lifestyle" if you will. And truth be told, we've had little bouts of illness before the tube came out and it didn't phase her. Sadly this virus has been so much worse. For all of us - just when we thought we were on the mend...today it seemed to be back with a vengeance.

Regardless, we would most appreciate the prayers that we all continue to get well, and that Addison is back to eating and drinking regularly very soon.