A year ago today...

Jake and I were celebrating the New Year at our friends house. Three of us were pregnant, one due in January (and we spent the night counting her contractions off and on), myself and our other friend, due a few weeks apart. Little did we know just how much our lives were about to change in just a few shorts weeks...

By the time my BF gave birth I was on strick bedrest and knew that our chances for premature delivery were great.

Tonight we were invited back to celebrate with the same group of friends, and I have to admit, it's a bittersweet feeling. Especially thinking of our other friend who suffered a great loss just a month or so after the twins arrived early.

Funny how things things still hit you a year later...

Saying a prayer tonight for our buddy in heaven looking down, and his mommy & daddy. Thanking God for all we've got and for some of the greatest friends a girl could ask for...

To the two ladies who may read this and know it's about them... I love you both so much and you both hold a special place in my heart. The strength, courage and support you've both shown in the past year is amazing. I am glad we've been brought together and wish you both the best year to come!

The end of another year.... 2011 edition

This year we.......

Spent weeks in an out of the hospital and 6 weeks on STRICT bed rest

Had babies on Valentine's Day (14 weeks early at that)...and had a emergent Christening for Addison that day too

Spent 5 very long months visiting the NICU ... EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

Brought home two miracle babies...

Took our first "family" vacation as a family of four to celebrate Jake's 25th birthday...

Had a Christening for Blake & a special Blessing for Addison...



Took our first trip to the pumpkin patch/petting zoo...

Dressed up for Halloween....



Celebrated my 25th birthday...

Celebrated and gave Thanks on our 1st Thanksgiving...

Met Santa and his Reindeer...

Moved to a townhouse (two weeks before Christmas, what were we thinking?)...

Decorated for Christmas...



Made a Gingerbread house...

Celebrated our 1st Christmas...

I have to say it doesn't get much better then this....here's to hoping 2012 is just as great.





BEST CHRISTMAS ..... EVER!!!!

Why you might ask?

Let me show you....

This is exactly why... because of these two. For years we wondered if we would ever have children of our own, for months we wondered if we'd ever get to bring our babies home, and now this year for Christmas I woke up to the sound of two beautiful babies. To see their smiles, their laughter and the excitement that lives in a child's heart. Thank you God for blessing us with these two miracles and trusting us as their parents, I know we'll make mistakes along the way but I promise to raise them up to belive in the good Lord above.

And for those who have been wondering...Yes Addison got the pony (a pink one at that) that Daddy has been promising her, and every girl's dream, a doll house (complete with Boy/Girl twins). Blake got a train set (that is as big as our kitchen) and a ride a long dump truck....as well as many many many more gifts...but just to name a few.

Today marks a very special day as well, it's the birthday of Jesus, Our Savior, and another very amazing man. My Daddy. While I wish he were here in person I know he is here in spirit. I see him in my children everyday. I get to say "Hi" to him thru my daughters eyes. Ask anyone who's been around Addison long enough, they'll tell you her Pap Paw is in her back pocket at all times, you'll catch her gazing in space and babbling with a smile. If you ask if it's "her buddy" she giggles. He's here every day. I love you Daddy, thank you for all you've done for me. You are missed more then you'll ever know. (And for the record, everything you said about a parents love...it's true, just incase you were wondering.)

Me & my Daddy at a friend's birthday party.

My Daddy giving me away on my wedding day.

Walking me down the aisle.

Our 1st Christmas!

Last year we were announcing the gender of the twins. This year we're spoiling them we lots of gifts (and teaching them the real meaning of Christmas). We spent Christmas Eve celebrating with the twins grandparents and their Aunt and Uncle. Daddy has to work tomorrow and is on call so we called in a favor to Santa and asked if he would please come early so we could spend Christmas together.

I'd have to say it went off with our a hitch. One things for sure, these two are loved.

We also ask this year that everyone take a moment of your time and say a prayer for all those who will not get to spend this holiday with their families and those families spending Christmas in the NICU. To all our brave men and woman who serve and have served this country so that we can enjoy our freedoms at home. Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

The night before "Christmas" Eve

Every girl needs a baby doll and baby carriage

Blake enjoying the box of all things lol. (I can't get the picture to flip).

It's a...........

GIRL & BOY!!!!

Dec 23, 2010...

We were anxiously sitting in the waiting room in the Center for Advanced Fetal Care. Waiting to find out if there were any "visible" signs that could cause my labs to come back abnormal. We talked a lot about baby names, and predicted genders etc. I was convinced boy/girl, Jake was 100% girl/girl. We had names picked... Blake Lee, Bryce Austin & Addison (or Madison) Michelle, Aubree Amanda.

Thankfully for us the ultrasound tech was quickly able to put us at ease and assured us that visibly things looked as they should. Then came the fun part... she started asking if we had names picked as she began to scan Baby A's anatomy. Small talk, lol... and then she stops and freezes the screen and says, "Do you see what I see?" I choke back a little and said "It's a girl?!?!"

"Yes, Baby A is a girl."

Immediately cue the tears from me, and I look and Jake and he's holding his breath. The tech moves over to Baby B, again "And do you know what that is?" I turn and look at Jake, he's pale..."It's a boy!?!?!"

"Yes, Baby B is a boy."

And Jake gasps for air. Again I am now crying hard. I looked back and Jake, "Addison and Blake."

He laughs and says, "I was sure it was two girls and I was going to spend the next 18 years working day and night saving for bail money for the day those boys come knocking. At least now I've got a boy to keep and eye on her too."

We floated on air the rest of that day. We told only immediate family the news and decided to "announce" it officially via Christmas cards on the 25th.

This day ranked up there with the day I got the call that we were officially pregnant. This day in 2010 was also a big day for a fellow friend of ours, one of my very close friends delivered a preemie around 30 weeks gestation and today was the day she got the call to bring her baby home finally.

Today (2011) I'll spend the day thanking God for all he's given us, as I prepare the final touches for our first Christmas as a family of four! I can't wait.... :-)

Waiting...

A year ago today, I spent waiting and wondering (and praying). I hadn't slept well the night before as all the what ifs ran through my mind. Jake and I did a lot of talking and made some pretty big decisions without even knowing what we were getting into.

We had chosen no matter what to decline the Amniocentesis. Anytime an Amniocentesis is performed it presents the risk for miscarriage, now matter how low the risk it wasn't worth it to us, the thought of loosing one or both or our precious miracles was just not possible. We had went through too much and come to far to risk it. We also knew that there was a possibility that the Genetic Counselor would probably try to convince us otherwise, as it is the only way (other then birth) to detect most birth defects for sure. It didn't matter, we would take whatever hand we were given and go forward.

The lives of our twins were a gift with a purpose and story to tell. We would let God decide what we could handle and I didn't want to spend the remainder of my pregnancy worrying about all the "what ifs". I wanted to blissfully and naively enjoy these moments. It's not the right choice for everyone, but it was our choice....

As I sit here today, I thank God for each moment we've been given and soak in the fact that God is good! The twins are living proof of that for sure. And while yesterday marked a "dreary" day in our past, in the present it marked a day of great joy. One of my good friends gave birth to her beautiful little girl, again proof that God is good.

Today I also pray for one of our NICU buddies who is 7 months old, has yet to get the chance to live at home with his family, and is undergoing Nissin/G-tube surgery today. I know what a double edged sword this was for us initially but I am so glad we did it now. I pray our little buddy will not have to endure what Addison did and that he has a very speedy recovery and is home with his Mommy & Daddy very soon.

A new chapter begins....

So it's clear I am a horrible blogger. But I am going to work on that, lol, and I figured what better day to start a new then today right?

Why today you ask? Well because historically today is significant to us, to the babies, and to our story...

A year ago today (Dec 20, 2010) I was sitting on my Momma's couch watching "brainless" TV. with my Grammy. Some baby show on TLC I am sure. I was 18 weeks pregnant had been to the OB the week before and had an ultrasound and routine blood work, things were good. I had called and scheduled a 4-D ultrasound for Dec 21st and was excited because we were hoping to find out the gender of the babies, we had invited both sets of grandparents to attend this big day with us. While we are sitting there indulging in guilty free TV. my cell phone rang, and it was the OB. Instantly my heart dropped, this could not be good.

Sure enough he was calling to inform me that some of our blood work came back abnormal. My AFP (a test that detects possible markers for birth defects) was elevated. According to my OB it's not uncommon in twin pregnancy to have an AFP come back high, and it wasn't alarmingly elevated but he still had to be sure. So he was going to schedule an appointment for me with The Center for Advanced Fetal Care for an in-depth ultrasound and consult with a Genetic Counselor. I needed to call and cancel the 4-D ultrasound for the next day and he would call me back with an appointment date and time.

No more than 15 minutes later I got a call back, he had gotten me scheduled for Dec 23rd.....

Three days seemed like an eternity....

Need to post more often...

Yup you read that right. I really need to post more often.

Something about twins at home and doctor's appointments, therapists, bottles, diapers and laundry keeps me pretty busy.

So where are we now...

The twins are now 9 (almost 10...OMG 10) months old. Both are doing pretty...great! Addison is on the growth chart 25% for actual age. Blake is still a little behind but gainning and growing so that counts for a whole lot.

Blake now eats 3 solid food meals a day and will take 2 or 3 bottles for me if I am lucky. Addison is still g-tube fed and depending on her mood will eat a tablespoon of baby cereal at a time for me. Her feeding skills are a work in progress but we are getting there and she is trying very hard I can't ask for more.

Recently (like today) we went to visit our friend from Philly, she too has a preemie. She was actually due 3 days after me but her little guy decided he'd arrive a month after the twins. It was a great day for a drive and to hang out with her, her son and hubby. They are some pretty awesome people (Hi, Stephanie!) and I am soo very glad that we became friends.

I'll have to update with some pictures soon (as in SQUEELLLLL, CHRISTMAS PICTURES!!!) but I insist that must wait for December, and probably after we (gasp) move.... gulp. Less then two weeks until we move.

One positive is that we've already got our tree and all the Christmas decorations will me moved first so we can put it all up.

6 MONTHS OLD!!!!!!

Today our miracle babies are six months old... how very far they have come...

Addison at birth

Addison 1 month old

Addison 2 months old

Addison 3months old

Addison 4months old

Addison 5 months old

Blake at birth

Blake 1 month old

Blake 2 months old

Blake 3 months old.

Blake 4 months old

Blake 5 months old...(Prunes, yuck!)

6 months old!!!!!

Our first family photo Mar 2011

April 7th 2011 (our anniversary)

June 2011 (The night before Addison's surgery)

July 2011 (Homecoming!)

August 2011 (6 months old- First vacation!)

153 days....

That's how long it took to FINALLY have both babies home, under one roof, in our house...

The short version... After 4 years of marriage, 3 years of Infertility, 1 IVF cycle, 6 weeks of bedrest, Twins born 14 weeks early, 153 days in the NICU we are finally a "at home" family of 4!!!!!

God answers prayers, not always the answers we want but He makes miracles happen!

Our first night at home, Addison slept the whole night and we were so relieved that I think we might have had the best night of sleep ever, even if we had to wake up twice to feed Blake. The feeling of snuggling in our bed the next morning with these two...PRICELESS!

Coming home! (Outfit from our angel buddy CJ)

Post Op...

Monday 6/13/11 - Addison underwent surgery to hopefully cure her reflux, help her gain more weight and get her home with us. Doctor's performed surgery for nearly 4 hours to place a Nissin, G-Tube and complete two bilateral hernia repairs. She and I now have matching scars on our bellies, mine of course from the c-section, hers from the hernia repair.

Monday she was doing very well and they said they probably could have taken her off the ventilator in the OR, but they wanted to wait and let the NICU staff handle during recovery. (Mind you she was only on 1 liter nasal cannula pre surgery), We were elated and relieved that she had done so well. By the next morning Addison had declined rapidly from a respiratory stand point. It was obvious that she was in a lot of pain too, but it didn't seem like much was being done about. That being said, I know there is a fine line between keeping her comfy and sedating her to a point that she needs too much support from the ventilator.

By Wednesday she was a little worse. Higher vent settings and conversation about putting her back on the Oscillator were now in play. Addison was touchy and again still in pain. Her oxygen requirements were as high as 70% at one point. At this point Jake and I both are scared and concerned. They decided to start her on Nitrous to help with O2 deliver and finally after a looooonnnngggg day they decided last night to increase her pain medicine and sedate her a little bit more to make her more comfortable.

And that is where we are now, overnight they were able to bring her rate down from 45 to 40 and her O2 is now right around 30%, this is very small progress but progress none the less. There is talk that they might start trying to feed her tomorrow or the next day, until then she continues to get her nutrition in I.V. form.

Just keep praying that they can at least get her settings low enough to put her on Si-Pap for a while, anything to get her off the damn ventilator. I hate it... I hated it when they were born, and I hate it even more now. Seeing a 8 1/2 pound - strong, otherwise healthy baby - with that tube down her throat is not for the faint at heart to say the least.

God obviously thinks we can handle this. All I know is she is ours and we love her more then anything in this world. Our wish is to have her home and healthy so we can start living life as a family and actually enjoying these moments rather then visiting a hospital all day every day. It's tiring especially with Blake in tow, but let me tell you this little boy has been a trooper. I know he hates it there but he is such a big boy and loves to see his sister every day.

One of the hardest things about this whole transition is the fact that there are a lot of missing pieces and there is that loss of  "respect" for us as parents. HUGE parts of her history are missing, and this person isn't aware of this, etc. Last night the resident told me that she had no clue they used steriods to get Addison off the vent the first time. I am pretty sure that is documented somewhere and that to me is VITAL and HUGE peice of information.

And then there is the relationship with the nurses. I seriously had a nurse who has only known Addison for two days, tell me "Do not touch her." Excuse me but by gently placing my hand on hers and calmly talking to her to try and soothe her, is probably the best thing for her right now. I realize you may be her nurse, but I am her Mom, I know what is comforting to her and that's what she needs right now when she is having a moment where she is freaking out and looking at me with these eyes, screaming "DO SOMETHING MOMMMY, MAKE IT STOP." I would give anything to hold her and surround her in love, but I know I can't right now. The least I can do is hold her hand and let her know I am there. I have been doing this long enough to know if she doesn't like what I am doing and I know when to leave her alone.

I should also add this is the same nurse who found it vastly appropriate to criticize how I was feeding Blake and tell me that after only 5 minutes of being there he was bored. Not exactly like I have alot of options at this point to entertain him but I am pretty sure it wasn't boredom but rather hunger, and I am pretty sure there was nothing wrong with holding the bottle in his mouth while he was still in the stroller, at least long enough to calm him down so I could pick him up. Seriously she whacked me in the arm with a pile of papers and demanded that he deserved to be held and cuddled close and if I was breastfeeding I wouldn't be able to get away with that foolishness.

Ok but yet you think it's ok to let a baby's high O2 stat alarm go off for over a half an hour and not adjust her oxygen because you are too busy checking you email and you think its appropriate to say "enough Addison stop with the bells now." and silence that high stat alarm while you gripe about how much you hate your job??? Very professional. You may be having a rough day, but seriously if you think this is bad you should have seen Addison when she was first born and those nurses who cared for her did it gracefully and never once complained. After only caring for her once, I am very sorry but I don't think you get that right. This is very mild compared to the beginning.

When I talked to the charge nurse about her behavior, I was told this nurse is famous for being harsh and abrasive and that it's not the first time they've gotten complaints about her behavior. Then please tell me why something hasn't been done about it. I probably would have tolerated most of her behavior, but to smack someone with a pile of papers like they are a dog or a child is beyond disrespectful. And I'd like to know even more why she was assigned to Addison again the following day.
I miss the old hospital and the people there who took such good care of both babies. I wish we could still be there. The nurses there were like family to us and we all had a mutual respect for one another. Here it's not the same. They treat us like we are new at this game and like we are clueless.With this hospital comes a "big time name" and there for a "big time attitude" from some of their employees, like because they work there they are better then anyone else. Sigh... we'll get there I suppose, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.

Not so random ramblings of a "we've been in the NICU too long" Mom.

Being a NICU mom, I've experienced a lot of things. In the beginning they tell you it's going to be a roller coaster ride, so fasten your seat belt. No one asked if I liked roller coasters (I don't) and no one asked if I wanted to get on the roller coaster (I didn't). But none the less I stood in line for 26 weeks, to endure the longest roller coaster ride of my life and to witness a beautiful miracle unfold before my eyes.

I've learned a lot...

ALWAYS TRUST YOUR MATERNAL INSTINCT....and don't be afraid to speak up and voice your concerns.

IT'S OK TO QUESTION AUTHORITY (just because they have the medical degree doesn't mean they know your baby as well as you do, you are part of a vital team that is making sure your baby thrives!)

YOU HAVE VERY LITTLE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION... very very little control.  I'd say 95% of what happens in the NICU just happens, and quickly too. 95% of the care your child receives is what I always "have to care" as in it has to happen for your baby to survive. You will get used to things just happening and then they throw a wrench in things and ask you to make a decision, large or small.

YOU WILL FIND OUT WHO YOUR TRUE FRIENDS (and family) ARE...cling to those who are really there for you and get rid of the negative.

YOU WILL GET A LOT OF UNSOLICITED ADVICE... people close to you will suddenly become experts on Preemies and/or make constant comparisons.

EVERY PREEMIE IS DIFFERENT...including my twins...so TRY NOT TO COMPARE THEM TO OTHER BABIES...they are unique in their own way.

COME UP WITH SOME KIND OF ROUTINE...trust me it will help you maintain your sanity and give you some sense of normalcy.

MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF...AND YOUR SPOUSE...even if its 30 minutes, just do it. Go to dinner, see a movie, take a bubble bath, something. (This is easier said then done, but it does help).

PRAY...prayer is a powerful thing. Trust that God will not forsake you and what is HIS WILL , will be done.

TRY NOT TO LET YOUR MIND WANDER... I by nature am a planner, I need a plan and I need to know what happens next. I often found myself thinking about the what ifs and what will bes. Whenever I felt like I was slipping to far, I went back to the above and PRAYED.

As Addison approaches surgery day (Monday) I wonder and pray that we made the right choice. I ask myself is she strong enough, then curse myself for doubting her. Of course she is strong enough, she is stronger then anyone in this world. She is fierce and empowering (like me), determined and persistent (like her daddy), really she is the best this world has to offer. An amazing little person who is ready to bloom. I pray she keeps fighting and exceeds all the expectations set forth for her. I pray that we made the best decision for her and that she wants this... we are expected to be her voice, and I pray that in years to come she understand all we did was out of love.

Two weeks home at home with Blake under my belt, I feel accomplished but lost at the same time. This isn't how I planned, not how I though at all. Once I knew there was a chance we'd have preemies, I knew one would come home first, but I thought it would be just a few days, not weeks.  I love having Blake home, but wish Addison was here too. (Things were easier when they were all in one place, not that I want Blake to still be there.) This isn't the routine I wanted for Blake and Addison. I envisioned waking when "Daddy" goes to work and feeding those first AM bottles. Snuggling with two little ones in my arms and who knows, maybe going back to sleep just for a little while (or at least letting the twins sleep), followed by tummy time, walks in the park, swinging in their babies swings, bouncy chair time, dinner with Daddy when he gets home from work, bottles, bottles, bottles, bath time, bed time and anything else we could come up with in between. Instead it's been up for a bottle, shower time for mommy, get dress, go visit Addison, try to juggle two babies without disturbing the whole hospital with a screaming infant.

But it will be ok, not much longer. Soon Addison with join her brother here at home and I will wonder what the hell I was so worried about (that is when I have time to wonder).

That's a lot for one night, but if you read it all thanks. And thanks for the prayers that you continue to pray.

I thought things were going to get better here...

(At the new hospital that is) But sadly they haven't. Addison has been there for a week now and we are no closer to surgery then we were the day she was admitted. They wanted first to try stomach feeds again. She tolerated those well for a little bit (a day or two tops) then she started have episodes where milk would come out of her nose/mouth, so they upped her Prevacid dose for 24 hours. Then they decide lets stop her Prevacid all together in preparation for her pH study (to measure the amount/times of reflux), since then she has began vomiting (another sure fire sign of reflux), so what do they decide to do? Move her feeding tube back to OJ for today and then they will move it back to her stomach tomorrow for 24 hours to do the pH study and then they will decide if she needs the Nissin.

Seriously? I am think she has clearly demonstrated the need for the surgery. Move on and quit dragging your feet. I am sick of this, beyond sick of it. I am ready to have her home and on the way to recovery. And what's better is we have asked several times to speak with the surgeons who will be doing her surgery, they refuse to consult or talk to us until "we know for sure she needs the surgery" and are saying that won't happen until the end of this week possibly. So yet another week will go by and no progress. And honestly I think the surgeons should be speaking to us now so that if, there seems to be no doubt in my mind, she needs the surgery we as her parents can have some time to think about it and make the best decision for her.

And as usual everything changes with a change in Attendings. Weekends are usually the worse unless Dr. B is working, she likes to "shake things up" as she puts it, but honestly its the only time Addison makes progress on the weekends.

Well I am off to shower and head to the hospital to visit baby girl and talk to these doctors once more. Maybe today someone will be willing to listen and get the ball rolling.

Home sweet home...

Yup that's right Blake arrived home on Friday 5/26/2011... exactly 9 months to the day that he took life via IVF. Not many people can say that. My original due date was this past Monday 5/23/2011, so he came home "right on time".  He is loving life and enjoys keeping Mommy and Daddy awake from 12am - 3am nightly. He's not a screamer and is content 24-7, he just likes to "talk"...other then that he sleeps well at night and pretty much has to be woke up to eat after 9 pm. We get some good wake times with him throughout the day too. So far his favorite hobby is snuggling and checking out the animals. We had our first visit with our home health nurse today and she gave us a good report, he is still gaining weight and all of his measurements are on track. He's now 19 1/2 inches tall and 8lbs, 9ozs! Oh and he took a massive pee all down my shirt today when I was carrying him over to the sink for bath time.

Addison is settling in well at her temporary home too. Hopefully it wont be much longer before she joins her brother at our home.  Doctors are saying she will need surgery and a g-tube for her reflux. We are hoping that this will take place in the next week so that her Daddy can be there and not have to miss much more time from work because he wants to be home with us when she is finally discharged. She is still wowing her medical team and is offically 7 lbs, 3 ozs! My how far we've come. Today they moved her in to her own "private" suite. Due to her testing positive for MSSA/MRSA she is in isolation. Originally she was rooming in with another little guy with the same situation but they had some space and moved her into her own room so things won't be so crowded when we visit. Our first visit with Blake was though and cramped but we managed. Hopefully our next visit will go better.

I thought NICU life with two babies at the hospital was hard, but I am pretty sure this is harder (or atleast presents its own challanges). We will figure it all out though and I am sure the minute we get the hang of things Addison will be home and we will be adjusting all over again.

Closing a chapter...

Well this is it, one chapter is ending as another is beginning. Addison has offically been transferred to her new home (that we are now calling  "The Big U"), I must say for such an "upscale" hospital the cliental is anything but "upscale" or "classy", with the exception of Addison of course. And this time tomorrow night I will be getting ready to wake up and feed one little boy named....BLAKE. That's right, little man is coming home!

I am currently hanging out here at the "old" NICU spending Blake's last night here with him and completing monitor training. Then it's home to catch a quick cat nap, wait for the oxygen people, catch another cat nap...maybe go buy Blake his swing (because let's face it, I can't hold him 24-7 regardless of what he thinks) and once Daddy get's off of work we will be driving to our "home away from home" for the past three months and picking up our son. Words cannot even begin to express the feelings we have right now.

It is so hard to be sitting here and not seeing Addison to Blake's right and being able to hold her while he sleeps and vice versa...now it is a one or other deal for now. Sigh... but we'll get there. I swear I cried more today then I probably had all this time. Maybe it was just time to get it all out.

As the doctor and nurse practioner made their rounds this morning, I made sure to snap pictures to save for the babies. Dr. K was the doctor who spent more then the first 48 hours with her and did everything he could think of to keep her thriving. And ofcourse their's V or "Aunt V" as well like to call her, she too shares a special bond with Addison. I can't tell you home many gray hairs she must have because of our little girl.

We've had our share of ups and downs and the staff here has seen us at our best and at our worst, but we've made it and here we are...

Our journey is far from over and it a lot of ways it is just beginning. While Blake will be home with us tomorrow, Big U will begin running test to see if our little girl can bottle feed and decide if she will need a G-tube as well as when possibly they may do the surgery to repair her cleft palate. As always thank you for your continued prayers these babies are proof in the power of prayer.

Big changes...

Let's see...first and for most Blake is now officially 8 pounds! Holy Moly! And Addison (better known as Peanut) is now 6 pounds 14 ozs.

The last time I wrote that they were actually saying the word "discharge" in the same sentence as Blake. Well ladies and gentleman, it's official Blake is coming home this Thursday. I personally have been a roller coaster of emotions, I am so happy that he is finally coming home but yet it's bittersweet because we are leaving Addison behind temporarily.

And let me just tell you, over all I have not been impressed with the hospital's disorganization and I am even more disappointed in the insurance companies. For starters I asked the hospital more then once if they had our updated phone numbers to give to the heart monitor and home oxygen people "Yes, yes." I was assured. Well guess what...WRONG! Today after the nurse practitioner scheduled all of these follow up appointments and such that Blake will be needing, I ask again to clarify because now 24 + hours later, I STILL have not heard from the heart monitor and home oxygen companies. Want to guess why? Yup because they don't have the right phone number...Which presents a valid point...IF THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY, WOULD YOU HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GET A HOLD OF ME?????? So after giving my phone number to the babies' nurse, asking several times if things have been updated...it was still not done...EPIC FAIL!

To make it better some fool in the insurance office neglected to submit authorization to the primary insurance and went straight to the secondary insurance, which I might add is being a tool and does not see reason for Blake to have oxygen at home until Sunday even though he is coming home Thursday. Oh and when I called the primary insurance to get the ball rolling...they inform me that they didn't even know the twins were still in the NICU! They haven't gotten a claim since they were born! F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S! What winners I tell you. So I guess I know how I will be spending my coming days, trying to clean up someone elses mess. This is, in between bottles and diapers and of course running to visit Addison.

In Addison news, they suddenly decided that they were going to not wait until Monday to transfer her but instead do this on Thursday, the same day her brother comes home. Um, gee thanks. Talk about a lot to handle, and the worst part is it's not a urgent situation so it could have waited at least a day. I am trying to look at it from a positive stand point...Neither Jake nor I will be able to accompany her in transit (stupidest rule EVER) and will have to wait over an hour for confirmation that she has arrived/be able to see her. So Blake's homecoming will be my diversion. But seriously, could they have given me a second to breath and absorb?

I also found out today that they tried to bottle feed her. Why I have no clue what so ever and I am not even sure if they used the special nipples they were talking about because of her cleft palate. I tell you never in my life will I be so glad to get away from this hospital. And what's sad is that the NICU is full of some pretty great nurses, but it's just so disorganized and the lack of communication between parents and staff is astounding. If their is another child in our future I can assure you I will not be going back there.

Please as always continue to pray for us, we are closing one chapter and beginning another. With a little luck this chapter will be shorter and less eventful and will lead to a much bigger and happier chapter in our lives.

Three months old!!!!!

Yup that's right our precious miracles are 3 months old today....boy how time flys. Not a whole lot of new stuff going on... Blake is still off oxygen except for when he eats and they are working on a decrease in Addison's cannula flow now, but other then that they are thriving... Blake is now 7lbs 8 ozs and Addison is 5 lbs 12 ozs. (In the words of our fav. Doc...Addison's life saver, literally, Dr. Kapoor "They've come a loooonnnnngggg way!)

Thank you for all the continuted prayers and we are looking forward to having our babies home with us soon...(fingers crossed)

Blake at Birth

Blake 1 month old

Blake 2 months old

Blake 3 monts old

Addison at Birth

Addison 1 month old

Addison 2 months old

Addison 3 months old