Sunday, April 14, 2013

A Sight for Sore Eyes

Thursday is THE DAY... we will place Addison's gorgeous baby blues in the hands of one amazingly talented doctor and his fabulous team. We'll pray, and wait patiently and hope for the very best.

The truth: I am freaked the heck out. It's so crazy.This is so SMALL compared to all she has been through. So tiny. Nothing she cannot handle, SMALL. Yet as her Momma - it feels so very BIG

I want so badly to be strong, and brave. Just like she is. And there are moments when I am. But then there are the moments when, well let's face it. I am not. Not even gonna lie. Those moments of fear and all that stuff, are...well...MORE, then those moment when I am strong and brave.

I am sure some of you reading this are rolling your eyes, or thinking this is so minor and that I am over reacting. But I also know that (fortunately? unfortunately?) there are a handful of our followers actually understand and get it. Right now. In this moment. This is my own "big deal". 

One day I hope Addison understands that I don't doubt her... no I don't. Not for one minute. I am not doubting anything about her. Or the doctors. It's just that I am here Momma. I am supposed to protect her. It hurts my heart to have to place her in the hands of surgeon after surgeon and know just how much pain she has felt in her life. And we both have prayed that one day she will understand that this is all to give her the very best possible chance at being all she can be. I pray she never resents us and understand this is all out of love.

Baby girl - you are amazing, more then you will ever know. You've blessed us in more ways then you can imagine, and you give me a reason to live. You've shown us true strength and courage. And defied the odds again and again. I believe in YOU. And I know you've got this too. One day when you are a momma, some of this will make sense. Though I pray your own children will never have to endure what you have. Just know that all of this is molding you in to the fierce, vibrant, AMAZING young lady that you will be. 

For the next few days, we'll likely cater to Addison's every need lol, and smothering her in love. Then Thursday will be here and we'll be home and she'll be running circles around us once again.

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