One, trust me when I tell you that I am 100% positive that I am missing a lot because something silly happens like less then once an hour around here. These are just the few I remembered off the top of my head.
- At church on Sunday, our first time at this church to begin with. They have a nursery for little tikes, but welcome children in the congregation during service. We were hesitant about the nursery and decided to see how they did, if things got crazy we'd take them down. Which just before the sermon they did get a little restless - so we took them to the empty nursery. Not even the attendant was there. Blake had already ran off to play with some toys, so I figured I'd wait a minute or two. The minister saw us head down and sent someone after us to take the kids. Great.
In walks a teenage girl, sweet as pie. And this happens - "Pastor sent me down to look after them. You can come get them right before communion if you would like, or wait until the end of the service." Me: "Oh ok great. Um... that one (points to Addison) has a feeding tube, it's tucked under her onesie though and doesn't really impact anything, I just mean um. Like if he pulls on it or she does, which they usually never do. Like it basically doesn't exhist or matter, it's just there. Um, so yeah. So if you need us, we'll be upstairs." Meanwhile I am thinking my rambling has surely scared her off, she replies "Oooh, oook." And I go "K. Bye." and walk away. I handed my two kids to a complete stranger and walked away. Do not ask what came over me.
We get back to our pew and I start giggling quietly. Jake asks why I am laughing, "We literally just handed them off and walked away. Like to a stranger. Atleast we are in a church, I mean nothing bad can happen right?" Jake goes, "Um yeah, and you didn't even tell that poor girl what their names were." - _ - He's right. No names, just "That one has as feeding tube." - _ - Allow me to formerly submit myself for Mother of the Year. And Jake...shakes head...I will not take all the blame. He was present. He could have spoke up too! I have absolutely no clue what came over me.
- Getting myself ready to go somewhere important (read in front of adult people whose opinion I value), I am applying brow liner in attempt to hide a few small bald spots do to my cheap over plucking job (don't judge me) when I look in the mirror and think, "That looks pinkish and feels...weird". Yeah because it is pink, or the manufacturer's idea of Neutral...LIP LINER! I just applied lip liner to my brows. Thankfully I started with the brows and hadn't done my whole face before I realized this. And for those of you asking how I made this mistake, remember I wear glasses, and did not have them on. Clearly Neutral looked... NEUTRAL, it is not my fault that all the liners come in similar tubes.
- Get on the computer after Jake and he is logged on to FB, so I did what any caring wife would do. I updated his status for him. He logged in to his account and reveled comments regarding "I am sexy and I know it." He texts me promptly and says simply "I am sexy and I know it." He has now repeated this throughout the evening here at home whenever he goes to do something or I ask him to do something. That's now his go to response "I am sexy and I know it."
- Feeding A & B lunch. (We have a rule that we wait for everyone to finish eating before we get up from the table.) We are almost to the end and I ask Addison "Would you like another bite?", to which Blake screams "NOoooooooo, no more bites Momma!" He had already finished his lunch and was clearly ready to get down, and felt strongly that Addison was done too.
- Dinner time. Most of the time I put food finger foods on the table for A & B versus on a plate, otherwise the food and plate ends up being tossed. Jake had set the table, I got them strapped into their chairs while Jake brought over drinks. Blake was in his chair first. When I look over after getting Addison settled, he has stolen Jake's plate and is trying to help himself to food, not to mention he put what I already gave him on the plate.
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