Thursday, May 23, 2013

Why Are We So Judgmental?

By now I am sure you've seen the "Dear Mom on the iPhone" articles circulating. As well as many comebacks, THIS is possibly my favorite response. And maybe you've even seen the most recent "Dear Toddler Mom from Chuck-E-Cheese". (I have a lot I'd like to say back to this author. Like perhaps the child wasn't in fact 18 months old, maybe he was a preemie and/or just small for his age. And question just how old her child/children are that perhaps she may not even recall what it's like to have a toddler. Am I saying what took place was ok? No - I wasn't there so I don't know all the details, just what she has portrayed. I also seriously doubt that such a short person launched a skeeball at her head. But lets also point out that she was in fact in the Holy Grail of childhood craziness - what more did she expect.)

But I digress.

The point is I just want to know one thing... Why are we (society) so judgmental? I will be the very first to admit, I have done my fair share of judging. (I mean remember back in January when I was all like "Why the heck are all these moms with ONE kiddo abusing the DOUBLE CART privilege?" If you don't remember you can read about that here.) But am I proud of it? Absolutely not! And I won't even promise that I won't ever judge again, but I can say I have been humbled by life events and people I've met. Enough that I am becoming more and more aware in situations where I would have judged that maybe, just maybe, there is more then what meets the eye; more then I could even imagine or say what I would do in that situation.

I'll even take that a step further to be a little more specific and ask why are MOMs especially this way? Moms/woman can be some of the most judgmental people I've ever met. Not.even.kidding. Judged if you don't breastfeed, judged if you do. Cloth diapers or disposables. Organic or not. Working Mom vs. SAHM. You name it. I personally have felt more judged since becoming a mom. And it's always fun when a childless person judges a parenting choice. Honestly, how many of us as moms have once in our past said "I'll never" or had these big plans and dreams about what parenting would be like, only to be handed a reality check because - lets face it; nothing works out the way we planned.

What about if just once instead of questioning or judging, we looked at our fellow moms (and actually anyone for that matter) and just said "You know what, you are doing the absolute best you can. Good job." Instead of cutting each other down, lets raise each other up or better yet HELP EACH OTHER OUT! And especially don't base your opinion on a split second in time that you have witnessed. Leaving the judging for a higher power.

To those who I've very foolishly judged in my lifetime, I am sorry.  I am not faultless here either. Like I said, I'm a work in progress, I am striving not to judge and think it's something we could all benefit from.

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